A Letter From Mom

Loss becomes easier to bear with time, but it also becomes more apparent, or so I was told after my mom passed away. They said it'll be weird not having her present for my major life events up ahead, whether that be marriage, kids, or career goals. That won't be able to hit me until I'm older. For now, every moment I don't spend being busy is what makes me reflect on what's happened.

It's now been 17 days since she died, and I'm nearing my second week of resuming a normal life and finding it quite far from normal. For a week, sympathy cards comprised all the mail I received. I'm glad they've been replaced by a steady stream of Magic cards.

When I'm stressed and anxious, I play Animal Crossing: New Leaf for a few minutes. The quick errands help me feel like I'm being productive. In 24 hours, I've decided to take a break from it.

I had completely forgotten about the fictional mother every Animal Crossing player has. After all, she hadn't written me a letter in a while, and usually they're so generic that I don't give them a second thought. I received my first letter from her in a while yesterday. I deleted the letter as soon as I saw who it was from. I don't remember what it said. I just didn't want to see it anymore. Yet another undesired letter sent with the best intentions.

Things started to go sour for my mom around Valentine's Day. By the time my birthday arrived (Feb. 26), it was clear things were not getting better. Doctors took her off of chemotherapy as it had started to hurt her body. I spent the afternoon that day celebrating my birthday with three Animal Crossing villagers. Before blowing the candles out on my virtual birthday cake, I made a wish. Today a villager asked me whether my birthday wish came true.

I wished for my mom to get better.